Do women appeal to men more than men? Do they have to let go of parts of themselves in order to put others first? Is this practice healthy at all? Or is it a marker of a good person? What are the implications of such a story?
Under the guise of instructions on being “good women,” we are taught to say yes to whatever comes our way. Quit your job and manage the house? Yes okay. Be silent about opinions and go to the kitchen where you belong. Good. If i ask you sex even when you don’t want it we will n / A? Okay.
Surrounded by the pressures of being caregivers and nannies, women spend their entire lives caring for others and neglecting themselves. The toxic silos of gender roles – women as housewives, men as breadwinners – has bogged down women for centuries, forcing them to give up their own dreams, careers, aspirations to fulfillment. their domestic “duties”.
“I coach women in their fifties and I have yet to meet someone who says to me ‘I sacrificed everything and I am so happy'” Dr Saloni Singh, life coach and NLP practitioner, tells SheThePeople.Â
“For most of the women who are reaching middle age and feeling like they’ve sacrificed something, resentment sets in. They don’t know what to do in their second run.”
Do women like more than men? How society conditions us
Dr Singh says that pleasing people is natural for many people, regardless of gender. “People think I’m not good enough. It’s something that they don’t know what people need to know because they want others to like them. There is a lack of self-acceptance, of self-love. That’s when they start showing behavior that people like, ”she says.
One of the main indicators of pleasant behavior is saying no poses a real difficulty.
This is something that many women know right from their education, when told to be submissive and submissive in their workplace, where even a little self-assurance results in the unfair stereotype of the “bossy office woman.” “.
By seeking to be good mothers, daughters, sisters, wives – symbolic values by which the worth of women is judged – women lose their own identity.
Here’s why women struggle to break out of those boundaries:
- Indian culture demands that a woman who is not sacrificial should not be a suitable woman at all.
- Behavior that appeals to people is drilled into us.
- We trample on our own worth and impostor syndrome leads us to believe that someone else knows better about us.
- The consequences, the criticisms, the social ostracism seem more severe for women.
“It’s very unconscious behavior when they start to submit. They won’t assert themselves even if they don’t agree with something, won’t speak for themselves, will always feel: what do people think of me? Are they judging me? In reality, no one else judges them more than themselves ”, Dr Singh says, adding that his clientele is more women than men.
What can women do to break these limiting rules by which they live? How can they reclaim their life and identity without fear of judgment? Will it include getting so hard that there is no possibility of compromise? Or will it include partnerships that empower and embolden women, give them the strength and space to say no when necessary?
Dr Singh recommends going all the way with love, as much as the woman wants, as much as it makes her happy. In this way, the responsibility for the action will fall on the person alone and on no one else, when the time comes to reflect and answer for your choices.
Women have to start by choosing what makes them happy; decisions they can call their own and be responsible. The independence that this will bring will put us on the path of balanced, complete and whole journeys at the end of which we can say with contentment, we have lived for ourselves.
The opinions expressed are those of the author.