When leaders reach their expiration date

Boris squirms, Theresa watches – wearing THIS necklace

I can’t remember a sitting politician being so humiliated while keeping his pants on.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. I wish things had been done differently. I’m contrite. It wasn’t like I thought. Sorry. Again.

“I want to make amends, explain myself.

“My God, if I had thought for a moment that these people who were chatting, drinking and munching in my garden were having a party, I would never have allowed it. My implicit understanding was that this was a meeting of job.

It may have worked at Eton when he got scratched. Whether that works for someone who is prime minister is another matter.

For a politician, being hated by certain MPs is normal. But Boris Johnson is now openly despised, and not just by the opposition.

On the benches, Theresa May wore THIS necklace. The one with the big attack beads she wore during the tense Brexit debates (unless she had whole stocks of them). Since she was wearing a mask, it was hard to tell if she was smiling or grimacing.

Strangely enough, trust in politicians. There was that golden age when you could trust them. I think it was in the Middle Ages.

Victorians? They can all be overruled and invalidated, having been “elected” by a selective, elitist, sexist and sometimes corrupt, all-male, snobbish voting system, of which we should arguably be ashamed.

This means that we must look to more modern times to trust politics.

Tony Blair led the nation into a war on a false premise – some would say a lie – that resulted in tens of thousands dead and hundreds of thousands of men, women and children displaced and a country left in ruins .

The only people forced to resign as a result were journalists trying to find out the truth.

David Cameron and his sidekick, a corrupt French criminal called Nicolas Sarkozy, have joined forces to take us into a war in Libya that has left thousands dead, tens of thousands of Libyans displaced or ethnically cleansed, and entire armies of families living in poverty and misery trying to flee the shores by dangerous boat, with many drowning in the attempt.

The Cameron-Sarkozy adventure, based on a very broad interpretation of a UN resolution, and also involving flagrant violations by the French of a UN arms embargo, had a profound consequence for peace world. This so displeased the Russians, who felt betrayed by what they saw as Western duplicity, that they said “we won’t be fooled anymore”.

This has sparked a new Cold War which is a much more immediate threat than global warming, but is not as fashionable and therefore not covered as much.

Meanwhile, Libya was turned into a failed state and the Islamic State gained a foothold.

Then there was the Bercow Parliament in which we learned that voters’ trust in politicians is not reciprocated by politicians’ trust in voters.

Boris Johnson did not start a war. He went to a drink – and it looks like that will see him on his ear.

Good bye Boris. A fun figure for a while. But the most tragic fate for a clown is when the audience stops laughing.

Recipe of the week: Lamb Korma.

Method. Take the roast lamb left over from the Sunday roast, remove the meat from the bone and dice it. Put in slow cooker with other stuff. Look in the kitchen cupboard for a jar of korma sauce, add it and stir everything.

Turn on the slow cooker. Medium heat will do.

I wonder why your concoction looks a little funny. Stir again. Let cook a little. The concoction always looks a bit funny. Look for the korma sauce lid and check out. Put on glasses and consult again. “Best before date: May 2012.”

Put all the contents in the trash and catch the prepared meals.

Carefully search the kitchen cupboards in the spirit of food archaeology, paying particular attention to items pushed to the bottom and genuinely rusty cans.

Can anyone beat an expiration date of March 2001?

It was curry powder, or something.

About Timothy Cheatham

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